What NOT to Say During a Divorce

Divorce often brings out strong negative feelings, but if you want to make the best case possible for yourself there are a few things you simply can NOT say to your spouse.


Here’s the list, from a DadsDivorce article:

1. I’m Going To (Insert Threat Here) You!

No matter how angry you are, violence is never the answer. And threatening violence is no joke either. It could hurt your case, and you could end up in other legal trouble as well.

2. I’ve Got A New Girlfriend, And She’s Better Than You.

When your ex is listing all of things you did wrong during your marriage, you may want to bite back and tell her about your new romantic interest. But while it might make you feel smug (and her jealous), it’s a mistake in the long run. Why add more fuel to her fire? Telling her about your new girlfriend will just make her more combative.

3. I’m Moving Out

You may want to start your new life immediately by moving as far away from your spouse as you can, but doing so can give her an advantage during property division. Instead, grit your teeth and stay put until your property is divided. We see this mistake a lot during divorce for men, so don’t fall for it.

4. Take It All. I Give Up.

Divorce is a long, hard process, and you may be tempted to surrender to get it all behind you. But remember: giving in may spare you some pain now, but it will hurt later. Dig in and don’t settle for less than your fair share.

5. The Kids Hate You

During a divorce, the most important thing is the welfare of you kids. And even if you don’t like your spouse, it’s important to realize that your kids still need a mom.

So dragging your kids into the fray, especially to hurt your spouse, is a definite no-no.

6. I Was Cheating On You The Whole Time

First of all, hopefully you weren’t cheating on her. But either way, saying this to your spouse can destroy your case, because the courts in some states take infidelity into account when deciding property division and custody.

Emotions are running high in a divorce, but remember that the way you behave during these few months can have an impact on the rest of your life. Stay in control, and make sure you get the settlement you deserve!